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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079008">A Tale of Two Cabbages</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvamoon/pseuds/Silvamoon'>Silvamoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fluff, M/M, Silly, Zine piece, based on: donkey cabbages</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:09:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvamoon/pseuds/Silvamoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it had been more force than intended, but Lance went stumbling backwards in an arm-flailing mess. He <em>swore </em>he saw that stupid donkey smirk, but then he tripped and fell over sideways, landing with his face pressed against a cabbage. The leaves brushed his nose, almost mockingly, and whether because of hunger, frustration, heatstroke, or all three, he took a bite and swallowed. </p>
<p>Transforming wasn’t as bad as he expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Once Upon A Time: A Klance Fairy Tale Zine</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Tale of Two Cabbages</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A Tale of Two Cabbages</p>
<p>	All journeys started somewhere, and this one, like many others, started in a town. It had never been a very remarkable place, and at most others would say it had a quaint charm—if they remembered it at all. In fact, its location would have long been forgotten and lost to the ages if not for its one claim to fame; it had been home to Lance and Keith, two of Altea’s greatest adventurers. They were well renowned as an inseparable duo who could take down any obstacle or foe, and their names evoked a certain fear in those that crossed their path. </p>
<p>Of course, it hadn’t always been that way. </p>
<p>At first, the two were childhood rivals, always determined to outdo the other. Whether it was to see who was fastest, who could climb the highest tree, or who could gather the most apples and lob one off the captain of the guard’s head without getting caught. Keith ended up winning most of these, unintentionally antagonizing Lance to no end. While no one knew when it changed, eventually each realized they needed a friend more than a rival, and they later set off into the world as a team. Much to everyone’s silent relief as, until then, the partnership had been a small terror on the town.</p>
<p>On their travels, there came a day where they encountered an old woman in the woods. Both were well acquainted with the world by then to know she would have cursed them in some ridiculous way had they refused to help. For their assistance, she told them of a great reward. Nearby, there was an old withered tree, guarded by nine birds, who squabbled day and night over a red cloak caught within its branches. If one of these birds were shot and killed, the rest would scatter and abandon the prize. Neither of them could resist such an interesting sounding quest, so they thanked the old woman and set off.</p>
<p>Now, if there was one skill Keith never managed to quite get the hang of, it was archery. Not that he was necessarily awful at it—even if Lance thought otherwise—but his level was nowhere near his partner’s, so when they arrived at the tree, there was no questioning who would complete the task. With practiced ease, Lance notched an arrow, fired, and the targeted bird dropped dead, while the others scattered just as the old woman said they would. He grinned at the easy victory, earning an exaggerated eye roll in response, before moving towards the cloak.</p>
<p>Its color had been striking enough from a distance, but up close it was vibrant, like seeing the first rose of spring against a snowbank. Fine threads glimmered with magic, holding untold potential within. Keith just thought it looked cool. He instantly claimed it for himself and Lance didn’t even have time to protest that it might be cursed before it was already draped around his shoulders. Only when nothing happened did they decide it had to be a normal cloak after all. It wasn’t, but magical items didn’t exactly come with instruction manuals. However, another item remained, one that was undoubtedly special.</p>
<p>At first, it went unseen, the adventurers too fascinated by the cloak’s wonders to spot the small gold orb that rolled out of the dead bird’s beak. They probably would have missed it completely had the weather been more unfavorable. A ray of sunlight happened to choose that moment to shine, catching the metal’s surface and Lance’s eye. He proclaimed his ownership of the orb and grabbed it for himself, ignoring his own previous warning of being cautious with potentially cursed objects. This was, in fact, the real reward of the mission. The old woman mentioned this was an especially rare and valuable artifact, and if one of them swallowed it, they would never trouble for money again. They had forgotten her words until now, too excited at the prospect of adventure and riches. Of course, neither of them cared to digest something that had just been inside a dead bird. Even daring each other brought about no result. In the end, they decided to take the rare, one of a kind orb, and melt it down.</p>
<p>In its place a shiny gold ring now hung from a chain around Lance’s neck. He insisted on wearing it everywhere, enjoying both its looks, and how it retained its magic. Every morning he woke to find a gold coin under his pillow, though neither understood how it worked. One time, Keith stayed awake the whole night in an attempt to observe the coin’s appearance, to no avail. Either way, they had extra income, and even their renown as adventurers seemed to improve. But as with more money and fame, also came unwanted attention. First came the usual thugs and bandits. Individuals or small groups that attempted to ambush them on their travels. These were defeated easily, becoming enjoyable ‘warm up’ sessions before a quest. Nothing prepared them for the clever ones.</p>
<p> Everything seemed innocent enough. A mother and daughter required help to fix a well and fetch water to their cabin on the outskirts of town. A more menial request, but not an uncommon one. Plus, as Lance pointed out, the daughter was quite pretty. There was nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting while they worked. How could Keith stand there, refusing to budge, when they were so graciously invited inside for dinner afterwards? And how was Lance supposed to know they’d drug him with a sleeping potion and rob him blind?</p>
<p>“They even took my boots! Who does that!?” Lance shouted.</p>
<p>“Obviously them.” Keith thought it served him right, though they now had a different problem. Stealing their belongings back was out of the question. No one would hire an adventurer who resorted to such a dirty tactic. Plus, if it was reported, they’d be laughed out of any respectable guild for ‘falling for the oldest trick in the book.’ The best they could do was accept their fate and move on. Now that they could no longer rely on the magic’s income, they had to throw themselves into work and travel further than they had before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Familiar lush fields faded to a harsh sandy desert. Traveling under the blazing sun, temperatures spiked along with the heat. They argued. This wasn’t like their normal spats, or even their childhood fights. This was a bitter back and forth where each attacked the other’s faults. Lance blamed Keith’s stubbornness for not stopping what happened, while Keith blamed Lance for getting them into the situation in the first place. Bickering until the heat dried up their tongues and resigned them to glaring. By then it was far too late to turn back, and they were forced to trudge onwards, fueled by resentment and the faint hope the landscape would change.</p>
<p>Each moment became a struggle to move. The faint hope dimmed and just when it seemed like it would be lost completely, they encountered a miracle. Rows upon rows of fresh green cabbages poked through the sand, stretching as far as the eye could see. For all they knew, it could have been an illusion, but by then they didn’t care. Keith moved first, scrambling for purchase against the sand in a sudden burst of strength to grab one.</p>
<p>“Don’t touch them,” he ordered, swinging an arm out to block the path. Panting, barely able to stand, he still somehow managed to speak <em>and</em> be a jerk at the same time. Lance would’ve decked him if he could’ve. Instead, he had to watch in silent fury as Keith bit into what was supposed to be <em>their</em> salvation. Then Keith doubled over.</p>
<p>All the previous rage vanished as Lance rushed over, frantically calling out his name. Though he would never admit it aloud, that moment seared into his memory as one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced. He helplessly had to watch Keith twist and turn, body overtaken by convulsions and <em>changing</em>. Whatever was happening was turning Keith into something larger, something...furry. Finally, the shaking lessened as the transformation neared its end and standing there now was a... </p>
<p>“Oh my god! You’re an ass!” Lance’s laughter rang out, dry, crackling, but honest to goodness laughter that broke off into coughing when his parched throat couldn’t keep up. All because standing before him now was a donkey.</p>
<p>Keith’s ears flattened to the sides. So he was a bit grumpy, but all that mattered was that he was okay. Actually, aside from the obvious differences, not much had changed. Even his new mane kept the same long, shaggy look of his original hairstyle. </p>
<p>Lance couldn’t resist patting the soft space between those new long ears. “Welp, I guess it had no effect. We better <em>hoof </em>it. Get it?” He chuckled. Since everything was fine, he couldn’t stop himself from making awful puns either. “What? No reply? I suppose you must be a little <em>horse</em> yet. But seriously, do you think you can give me a ride? All that walking re-”</p>
<p>There was a warning snort before Keith rammed him. It was like being hit by a wagon, maybe it had been more force than intended, but Lance went stumbling backwards in an arm-flailing mess. He <em>swore </em>he saw that stupid donkey smirk, but then he tripped and fell over sideways, landing with his face pressed against a cabbage. The leaves brushed his nose, almost mockingly, and whether because of hunger, frustration, heatstroke, or all three, he took a bite and swallowed. </p>
<p>Transforming wasn’t as bad as he expected.</p>
<p>The whole process was quick, painless, and at least now the two adventurers (donkeyventurers?) were a matching set again. They quickly decided they might as well fill their bellies, and began to much along the cabbages with determination. It wasn’t like whatever magic the vegetables possessed could affect them any further, so when the next row shifted colors from green to white, they hardly noticed. These ones were just as tasty as the others, and they only stopped when the familiar tingle of magic struck. Again their bodies shifted and changed. This time, it returned them to their human forms. Others might have thanked the heavens for this blessing, that they hadn’t turned them into something horrendous, but not Keith and Lance. The two were too well acquainted with testing fate—they had to try again. Once more they found the green cabbages and ate them, prancing around in merriment in the forms. Once more they ate the white cabbages and returned to themselves, laughing joyously at their success and the argument from before seemed hilariously petty. But this did give them an idea.</p>
<p>They returned to the cabin that caused this whole mess. Neither of them were foolish enough to think they wouldn’t be recognized if they tried to pass themselves off as cabbage salesman or some other equally ridiculous disguise. However, they <em>could</em> enlist a snarky little wood nymph they had met on their travels. She was more than happy to help, pranking humans was its own reward, and offering a small share of gold didn’t hurt either. It was surprisingly easy for her to convince the mother and daughter that she was a friendly dryad who wished to reward them for assisting a wounded creature the previous day (of course they hadn’t, but they weren’t going to correct her and turn down a free gift). The two took the cabbages, thanked the dryad, and it wasn’t more than a few minutes later the sounds of confused braying could be heard coming from inside the hut.</p>
<p>	This was what their group had been waiting for. They paid the nymph and quickly moved to reclaim their valuables. The donkeys were rounded up and sold off to a friendly baker and his wife. He would put them to work in his mill, and while it would be tough, he was known to be very kind and would treat them better than they deserved. Maybe one day Keith and Lance would tell him the truth—they would, eventually, they weren’t heartless after all—but not yet. For now they were satisfied. They had gotten their revenge and regained the ring. Now they could continue their journey together, becoming renowned adventurers throughout the land.</p>
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